<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>To My Lover by diabolicaldean</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735500">To My Lover</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/diabolicaldean/pseuds/diabolicaldean'>diabolicaldean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Out of Character, Short One Shot, babe i hope you're gonna be satisfied with this, has no correlation to dean or cas whatsoever, i really hope i gifted this to the right acc because if i didn't... embarrasing me thinks, im so romantic right lmao, this is just author writing a love letter for their partner but in a spn form, this is more of a gift type of thing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:08:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/diabolicaldean/pseuds/diabolicaldean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel met online and soon into their friendship they developed stronger feelings. Castiel keeps on showing Dean how much he loves him by writing songs to him, making playlists, reminding him how much he loves him every day and Dean wants to do the same. Not having many talents though, Dean isn't sure how to successfully show Castiel just how much he changed Dean's life. He decided a letter in which he describes how much his boyfriend means to him will do.</p><p>This work has zero correlation to spn and deancas but I decided to write it in spn universe since both me and bae are fans of spn ( mostly deancas).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To My Lover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanarmr/gifts">vulcanarmr</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dean stared at the blank sheet of paper on his desk, pen tightly held in his hand. It felt like whatever ounce of writing skills he had just flew out of the window. How do you even write a love letter? He never did this before. While he did have crushes here and there, as all teenagers do, it never felt like this. He never felt like this about anyone until </span>
  <em>
    <span>Castiel</span>
  </em>
  <span> came along. Castiel…Dean was certain Castiel was an actual angel because no human could be that perfect. No human could be that naive either, to think that Dean is enough for anyone, let alone him. But for some reason, Castiel loves Dean and Dean won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The song Castiel wrote for him played quietly in the background, making Dean instantly more relaxed. He could do this, it was just a letter, A small letter that’s somehow supposed to capture everything Dean loves about Castiel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if Cas decides to stop wasting his time on Dean? What if he sees that Dean has nothing to offer, to give in return? What if- </span>
  </em>
  <span>Dean had to stop himself there because thoughts like that did not help his writer's block. At all. “Come on Dean. You can do this, it’s the thought that counts, right?” He said out loud even though there was no one in his room to answer him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah right, you dumbass. Castiel pours his heart out to you everyday only for you to give him a crappy gift and say “it’s the thought that counts” </span>
  </em>
  <span>His mind oh so helpfully supplied. “Screw it.” Dean said and put the tip of his pen on the blank paper. He wrote his first words and after that got lost in thought, thinking about Castiel’s eyes and the way his face would look every time he smiled. Thinking about his lover made writing easier</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dear Castiel</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To tell you the truth I don’t know how to start writing this letter when I’m less than good when it comes to telling you what’s on my mind… but I will try anyways since you deserve to hear it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t pinpoint the exact time I fell in love with you. I didn’t have that “oh” moment, or big realization that you meant everything to me. It’s strange to say since we’ve only met each other online, but I think I always felt something towards you. Maybe I’m just complicating things but the moment we said hello I had a gut feeling that it was the start of something beautiful. And I was right. I had no idea how right I truly was. Talking to you made me breathe easier, finding out things about you made my head clearer, just thinking about you made my day brighter… Knowing that there is a person so pure and stunning out there who is interested in someone like me was incredible. I’m still in awe every time I think about our conversations, our innocent crushes, our playful flirting not realizing that it was mutual. God we’re stupid now that i think about it. I can’t describe how much you truly mean to me. I was low for a really fucking long time and I mean really low. Hopefully one day I’ll be brave enough to tell you about all of it. But for now what you need to know is that you saved me. As the time passed by you were the only one that made me smile, that made me hopeful about life, that made me dream for the first time in years. Unintentionally or not you’re the reason I started thinking about opening up to people. Everyday I would just think about what kind of man you would like me to be and eventually, I’ve learned how to respect myself, how to believe in myself… All because of you. I never got attached that fast to anyone before. But it doesn’t surprise me that it was you who I got attached to. How could it? You with your perfect voice, perfect smile, perfect jokes, perfect looks, perfect personality, perfect everything. It’s no wonder my heart said “ yeah, this is the one” once we started talking more. You’ve also made me a huge sap by the way, I was never the one for the lovey dovey nicknames and playlists but you also changed that. Having someone to hold onto you as much as you hold onto them is a feeling I never want to pass. I want to continue to hold onto you for as long as you’ll have me. I want to find out everything there is to find out about you. The good, the bad, the in between...Everything. One day, I hope I’ll get a chance to hug you and have you in my arms until the end of time. I hope I’ll get to kiss you. I hope I’ll get to meet your family ( after I meet your cats obviously, once I get to them there is no guarantee I’ll bring them back). I hope we get to be that sickly sweet couple who can’t stop holding hands, who can’t stop blushing every time we compliment each other. I hope we get to go on a road trip listening to the song you wrote me. I hope I get to see you star in a big play, I’ll be cheering like a maniac once the play ends and you amaze everyone in the theatre with your outstanding performance. Probably going to embarrass you a little bit but honestly that’s what you get for dating me.  And I promise you we’ll get to do that. We’ll get a chance to make memories for a lifetime. If life turns against us we’ll turn against it.  I’m so terrified of losing you and if I do lose you… I’ll just hope you’ll find someone who loves you just as much as I love you. Because you deserve nothing less. You’re my first love and as people say you never forget your first. And you never stop loving your first love. I hope we’re that one in a million who makes this type of thing work. Things between us never felt rushed, never felt wrong, never felt like something we’re getting blindly into. I want us to make it. And we will. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll love you no matter what happens, no matter how many years we’re apart, no matter how much time it passes. I’ll always cherish you and I hope you’ll continue to cherish me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>- Yours, Dean. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>